One of my favorite poems has come true! Robert W. Service published this gem in his final volume in 1955. It should have more fame. Read to the end and see what is available in the marketplace today!
Toilet Seats, by Robert W. Service
While I am emulating Keats
My brother fabrics toilet seats,
The which, they say, are works of art,
Aesthetic features of the mart;
So exquisitely are they made
With plastic of a pastel shade,
Of topaz, ivory or rose,
Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,--
(They must, I fear, be very cold).
But Tom's have thermostatic heat,
With sympathy your grace to greet.
Like silver they are neon lit,
Making a halo as you sit:
Then lo! they play with dulcet tone
A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats
I would not sing of toilet seats,
But rather serenade a star,--
Yet I must take things as they are.
For even kings must coyly own
Them as essential as a throne:
So as I tug the Muse's teats
I envy Tom his toilet seats.
A Dream Come True!
When I traveled with my parents, "way north", I appreciated the seats that folded back into a warmer. At home, it was always paw prints, even when the bowls were full and fresh. I was always fond of a seat that could be easily wiped clean. The paw prints always seemed intrusive. I didn't mind the fur on the lid cover and "she" usually had something decorative, but the paw prints on the site of repose were never acceptable. It did teach me to keep the lid down.
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