Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Just Waitn' To Happen; Why Do They Call?

Homeowners call me out to evaluate their problem; in this case, dead limbs over their house, and

hollow stems supporting them.  I advise them to have the tree taken down ASAP before it damages their home, and their response usually is "But I don't want to lose it!"  It's already lost, and they must know that, since they called me to evaluate the problem, but they try to talk me into performing a miracle, which I'm no good at.  It is a regular occurrence, and before I leave I will go over multiple choices for a replacement tree, find the optimum spot for planting, and coach the owners on pushing the new tree along to have shade as quickly as possible. 

I am glad to handle these calls before property is damaged and residents are hurt, but why, oh why, do they argue over the obvious truth?  The best ones are when they ask what they can spray on a dead tree to bring it back, which always brings to mind the advice in a Nineteenth Century volume on our shelf.  It advises that if someone is struck by lightning, to pour water on them.  If they haven't revived in a quarter-hour, you should pour salt water on them.  Well folks, if I'm ever struck by lightning, please pour the salt water on me first, just in case there is anything to that remedy. 


Anonymous said...

HMMM, how about Jack Daniels? It works for snakebite, you know, so maybee.... :)


David aka True Blue Sam said...

You have to be careful asking for that...Read the second joke! http://www.fife.50megs.com/scots-jokes.htm

Anonymous said...

Valid point - why waste good whiskey? :)